One of the signs that we're growing up is when we start to see the other side of an argument. It develops as that nagging feeling, the feeling that our competetor's view, the one against which we were moments ago so determinedly opposed, might contain a grain of truth.
In my youth, this realization was largely absent. The childhood I remember was largely black and white. I seem to have felt as if, by special gift of providence, I was fated to be born into circumstances which endowed me with an enlightened perspective. Friends at school who went head-to-head against me and the values of my family had simply missed the boat; parents, when they confonted me on the values of my youth, just didn't get it; and brothers and sisters can be just plain wrong.
But then, gradually, almost imperceptably, they all started to gain ground on me. They began to haunt me as I laid in bed at night, replaying the days events in my head. I certainly didn't wake up one morning and admit that, in a given set of arguments, I was wrong. Early on, the arguments bothered me more than they used to. Boisterous youthful exchanges turned more painful and labored. Soon (as behaviorally conditioned creatures always do), I found myself avoiding the painful stimulus altogether.
Perhaps we never really stop arguing our point, but for me it's become less frequent, and more muted. That didn't do me much good today though, as the ugly head of confrontation reared it's ugly head. But perhaps I can take consolation in a trend away from that nagging feeling of adolescence.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Anya and I and the boys at our wedding
...a picture of my recent wedding in Tampa Florida, April 17, 2005. From left: my brothers Dr. Bryan Merritt and Ellis Merritt, my dad Dr. John L. Merritt, my wonderful, beautiful wife Anya Merritt, me (the one with the big proud grin :) ), and my oldest brother Dr. John Lawrence Merritt II.
Monday, July 25, 2005
to lead a fulfilled life...
PBS's "guns germs and steel" miniseries, based on the book of that name, closes with a quote from a Zambian health care worker in which she says, "The control of malaria will mean an improvement in the welfare of the people, and an improvement in the welfare of the people will mean increased productivity, and increased productivity will mean that we will be a wealthy nation, because that will mean that then people will have sufficient, not only food but sufficient time to do things that make a human being complete and whole and able to lead a fulfilled life."
...To lead a fulfilled life. These are big words. There is so much behind the idea of leading a fulfilled life; and the factors that lead one person to live such a life, when another does not, seem almost beyond comprehension. I too, in my greatest estimation of myself, am dedicated to seeing that people around me are able to lead a fulfilled life. Most of us are, it seems.
And this is why it is so difficult for many of us... for me... when those around us fall short. We, I, wish to impose my will upon them, to give them the gift of fulfillment. But fulfillment can only come from within. We can create the environment for fulfillment, increase the chances that if one desires to attain fulfillment, they have that oppertunity. But we cannot give it to them. We cannot wrap it up in a box and leave it at their door. They must themselves, not only reach out and grab it, but strive for it every day... by themselves.
And waiting for them is the hardest part. Who is to say that they will finally get there? How do we know that they are determined to stay on the path? Must we have faith that all will work out in the end? How many have lived before us, only to have this same faith misplaced and unrewarded?
...To lead a fulfilled life. These are big words. There is so much behind the idea of leading a fulfilled life; and the factors that lead one person to live such a life, when another does not, seem almost beyond comprehension. I too, in my greatest estimation of myself, am dedicated to seeing that people around me are able to lead a fulfilled life. Most of us are, it seems.
And this is why it is so difficult for many of us... for me... when those around us fall short. We, I, wish to impose my will upon them, to give them the gift of fulfillment. But fulfillment can only come from within. We can create the environment for fulfillment, increase the chances that if one desires to attain fulfillment, they have that oppertunity. But we cannot give it to them. We cannot wrap it up in a box and leave it at their door. They must themselves, not only reach out and grab it, but strive for it every day... by themselves.
And waiting for them is the hardest part. Who is to say that they will finally get there? How do we know that they are determined to stay on the path? Must we have faith that all will work out in the end? How many have lived before us, only to have this same faith misplaced and unrewarded?
Friday, April 29, 2005
Sojourners magazine, the Sabbath, and Jim Wallis
I'm encouraged by the title of Jim Wallis' book God's Politics : Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It, his magazine "Sojourners", and this article I read about the Sabbath in his magazine. His selling point, as the Amazon editorial puts it, is that "the true mission of Christianity--righting social ills, working for peace--is in tune with the values of liberals who so often run screaming from the idea of religion."
I often wonder at the audacity of television personalities and political parties. I wonder, how conservatives so devorce themselves from the causes that they hear espoused every week in their churches, namely protecting G-d's creation, feeding the poor, and equal rights for all people? And how, equally mystifying, can liberals not see the that the ethics of religion provide a moral basis for the causes that they themselves demand? Finally, and most frighteningly, what forces are at work to diminish the voices of reason in mitigating this conflict. Why is it that only the screaming heads are allowed to speak?
Seperately, as a Sabbath-observer, I found the article about the Sabbath in his magazine quite refreshing as well. The idea is that observing a day of rest (not just any day, but the 7th day, the day G-d commanded) never was just a rule observed by a people by rote. This day, for it's observants, provides psychological rejouvination, and a reminder every week that there are things, ethical things, that we as a people maintain, from which we will not shy away. Every week, we have a physical reminder that we separate our inner selves to G-d.
There's so much more to say. I'm not going to say it all here.
I often wonder at the audacity of television personalities and political parties. I wonder, how conservatives so devorce themselves from the causes that they hear espoused every week in their churches, namely protecting G-d's creation, feeding the poor, and equal rights for all people? And how, equally mystifying, can liberals not see the that the ethics of religion provide a moral basis for the causes that they themselves demand? Finally, and most frighteningly, what forces are at work to diminish the voices of reason in mitigating this conflict. Why is it that only the screaming heads are allowed to speak?
Seperately, as a Sabbath-observer, I found the article about the Sabbath in his magazine quite refreshing as well. The idea is that observing a day of rest (not just any day, but the 7th day, the day G-d commanded) never was just a rule observed by a people by rote. This day, for it's observants, provides psychological rejouvination, and a reminder every week that there are things, ethical things, that we as a people maintain, from which we will not shy away. Every week, we have a physical reminder that we separate our inner selves to G-d.
There's so much more to say. I'm not going to say it all here.
Life in the armpits??!!!!!
Metaphors are often more graphic than we realize. The latest edition of the Economist has an article entitled "Life in the armpits of palestine." The article describes some of the day-to-day hardships of living in regions of the West Bank of Israel which will be surrounded by the new security fence.
The reason the title cought my eye was that I've recently discussed this same metaphor to my new wife, who moved here from Odessa Ukraine. We're moving next week to the bayou in Louisiana and a couple of my relatives before the wedding described the region as "the armpit of America." As english-speakers, the words just roll off the tongue; kind of a cutsey way to say that it can be hot (and humid) there. But to someone who hasen't heard the metaphor it sounds horrific. Who in their right mind would ever want to live there!??? Have we made a profound mistake by moving there??
I spent a lot of conversation time prophilacticly trying to steer the conversation away from such allusions. I demonized similar comments publicly so as to make clear that I wanted to put a better light on the subject. For the most part, it seems to have worked. The more tactful of my family quickly cought on and made sure to mention some of the more interesting things about the region ("you can always find something to do in New Orleans").
But the thing about it all that strikes me is the power that can be behind such a silly little phrase (armpits are gross!!!). A funnier one I always remember explaining is "love-handles." People talk about them all the time, but try explaining the allusion to someone unfamiliar with the term and it gets a whole lot more interesting...
We can be on the lookout for more of these. They're everywhere, I know. Perhaps we should be more careful with them; perhaps we can enjoy language more by thinking about what we're saying more often. Something to think about...
The reason the title cought my eye was that I've recently discussed this same metaphor to my new wife, who moved here from Odessa Ukraine. We're moving next week to the bayou in Louisiana and a couple of my relatives before the wedding described the region as "the armpit of America." As english-speakers, the words just roll off the tongue; kind of a cutsey way to say that it can be hot (and humid) there. But to someone who hasen't heard the metaphor it sounds horrific. Who in their right mind would ever want to live there!??? Have we made a profound mistake by moving there??
I spent a lot of conversation time prophilacticly trying to steer the conversation away from such allusions. I demonized similar comments publicly so as to make clear that I wanted to put a better light on the subject. For the most part, it seems to have worked. The more tactful of my family quickly cought on and made sure to mention some of the more interesting things about the region ("you can always find something to do in New Orleans").
But the thing about it all that strikes me is the power that can be behind such a silly little phrase (armpits are gross!!!). A funnier one I always remember explaining is "love-handles." People talk about them all the time, but try explaining the allusion to someone unfamiliar with the term and it gets a whole lot more interesting...
We can be on the lookout for more of these. They're everywhere, I know. Perhaps we should be more careful with them; perhaps we can enjoy language more by thinking about what we're saying more often. Something to think about...
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Yanukovich's response to protests
In case the world was wondering... THIS is how Yanukovich's government deals with protesters when noone is watching...
HotLine - everything about elections in Ukraine
HotLine - everything about elections in Ukraine: "On December 7th at 14.00 the city court of Kyiv district in Kharkiv will review the issue on relocating the three tent camps at Independence Square in Kharkiv.
From November 23rd supporters of Viktor Yushenko and Viktor Yanukovych have been living at the Square. And on November 28th "greens" joined them.
The court should review the complaint of the city executive committee. The authorities motivate it with the desire to settle a Christmas tree at the main square of the city. "
HotLine - everything about elections in Ukraine
HotLine - everything about elections in Ukraine: "On December 7th at 14.00 the city court of Kyiv district in Kharkiv will review the issue on relocating the three tent camps at Independence Square in Kharkiv.
From November 23rd supporters of Viktor Yushenko and Viktor Yanukovych have been living at the Square. And on November 28th "greens" joined them.
The court should review the complaint of the city executive committee. The authorities motivate it with the desire to settle a Christmas tree at the main square of the city. "
The Truth About Julia Tymoshenko
Finally, an article that gets her story right! The leading headlines have, on the whole, consigned themselves to repeating various "allegations" regarding Yulia Tymoshenko. This article interviews her, and recites what ACTUALLY happened during her political life. Yes Ukraine, there are "normal" people working for you in your country. This is one...
from the article:
"In the past seven years, Julia Tymoshenko has endured imprisonment, the jailing of her husband and several assassination attempts. But, even considering the drama that has accompanied her life, she could never have imagined the events that saw her emerge as a leading actor in one of the most unexpected political upheavals of recent history.
Since 21 November, Tymoshenko has been the force behind the protests that have kept up to half a million people camped outside the parliament in Kiev, the capital of Ukraine. And as the country gears up for one last push towards true democracy, the pressure grows on her - a glamorous radical, and deputy to the opposition leader Viktor Yushchenko - to keep up the momentum for reform.
Yet no fanfare, and no visual frisks from men carrying Glock firearms, greet my arrival at her dacha outside Kiev. I simply push open the back door, and there she is: a tiny, pretty woman with a mass of honey-blonde hair, wearing pink jeans and a black polo-neck, smiling that amazing smile."
more: News
from the article:
"In the past seven years, Julia Tymoshenko has endured imprisonment, the jailing of her husband and several assassination attempts. But, even considering the drama that has accompanied her life, she could never have imagined the events that saw her emerge as a leading actor in one of the most unexpected political upheavals of recent history.
Since 21 November, Tymoshenko has been the force behind the protests that have kept up to half a million people camped outside the parliament in Kiev, the capital of Ukraine. And as the country gears up for one last push towards true democracy, the pressure grows on her - a glamorous radical, and deputy to the opposition leader Viktor Yushchenko - to keep up the momentum for reform.
Yet no fanfare, and no visual frisks from men carrying Glock firearms, greet my arrival at her dacha outside Kiev. I simply push open the back door, and there she is: a tiny, pretty woman with a mass of honey-blonde hair, wearing pink jeans and a black polo-neck, smiling that amazing smile."
more: News
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